His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize