I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
