ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
