she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
