Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize