his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
