man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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