these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
