Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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