everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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