I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
