just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
