yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
