I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
