i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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