i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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