I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
