we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
