i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
