he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize