last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
