well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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