I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
