So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
