I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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