Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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