White coat. Heels.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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