brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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