I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
