butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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