How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
