Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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