The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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