By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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