You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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