you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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