Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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