Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
