That's intense
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
