Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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