return my video game
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize