I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize