In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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