Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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