toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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