Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
