I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
