But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i think my cat just said my name.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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