Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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