I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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