What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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