maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
