This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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