i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
