This girl is more easily done than said...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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