just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.