Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants