god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there