I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
