haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
