all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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