You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
