i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
