we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
