Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
