i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
