Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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